


Better Than This

by arim716



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bittersweet, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Merlin - Freeform, Merthur - Freeform, Oblivious Arthur, One Shot, Poor Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 00:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5806111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arim716/pseuds/arim716
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin was irritated, and Arthur was a tad bit annoying (as always)... until one day the two of them took the matter into their own hands.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Or the story where Arthur confronts Merlin about his mood and gets a bit more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Than This

“... And could you dull my sword, as well?” Arthur asked as he unfolded a white shirt that was draped over a chair. “It would have cut a boy this morning during practice had I not realized in time.”

 

They were both in Arthur’s chambers. Merlin was busying himself at the corner desk, organizing papers and stacking them in piles, sorting quills by length, and triple-checking each drawer for anything out of place. Arthur was behind the screen, changing out of his metal armor and chain-mail. He was in a bad habit of leaving things on the floor, and Merlin sighed as he heard the unmistakable _clank!_ of a breastplate hitting the floor. _I’ll probably have to shine that,_ he thought, _and every other god-forsaken piece of armor that Arthur drops on the floor..._

“Merlin!”

 

He ducked as something whizzed past his ear, knocking a stack of papers to the ground. He groaned, kneeling down to pick it up again. Arthur cleared his throat.

 

“What?” Merlin asked irritably, attempting to smooth out a crease in one of the pieces of parchment that had fallen.

 

Arthur’s head poked out from behind the wooden screen. His tunic was still firmly grasped in his hand, and Merlin set his jaw as he thought about the time he had taken to iron the creases out from the day before.

 

“Did you not hear a _word_ of what I just said?” The corners of Arthur’s mouth had curved upwards. He grinned, before raising his arms and pulling the shirt over his head. It was frayed at the bottom, and the top few buttons were loose. The piece of clothing was loose and airy – perfect for a breezy spring day in Camelot.

 

Merlin felt his face flush. Abruptly, he put down the stack of papers and began to walk away, running his fingers through his already-messy hair. “Yeah,” he said, shaking his head and looking down at the ground. “I’ll... clean your armor or fix your shield or... do whatever it is you just asked me to do.”

 

The door slammed shut and Arthur jumped slightly at the loud sound. He sighed, shaking his head before walking over to the king-sized bed and tugging on a pair of battered, light brown boots.

 

Gaius would probably know what was wrong with Merlin.

 

~

 

Arthur had meant to catch up with Merlin – really, he had tried – but then someone called him down to his father’s courtroom and things there always took time and now it was dark out and the physician’s chambers were at the top of the East Tower. But Arthur knew them nearly as well as he knew his own rooms, and he found them easily. With the bottles on the shelves and the dried herbs hanging from the ceiling and the cozy fire-place in the back... well, it felt more like home than any other part of the castle.

 

Arthur wasn’t as oblivious as ~~Merlin~~ people thought him to be. He had noticed the way his ~~best friend’s~~ servant’s eyes had been constantly red in the past few weeks, and he _definitely_ noticed the change in Merlin’s behavior. Asking Gwen about it hadn’t helped; their conversations recently hadn’t been going so well.

 

            Arthur: Is Merlin acting strangely?

            Gwen (sighing): He’s _your_ best friend, Arthur. Ask him yourself.

 

...To which Arthur had replied by asking if it was _really that obvious that Merlin’s my best friend and is it wrong that he’s more than a servant to me?_ And apparently he said something wrong because Gwen scoffed and walked away, calling to Arthur that he was more of a prat than she believed if he thought in that way.

 

But now Arthur was standing in the physician’s empty room (he had ignored the “please knock” sign on the door because... well, he _was_ the King’s son) and his hands were sweating as he realized that nobody was here and that the empty table probably meant that Gaius was in town which meant that nobody would know where Merlin was ~~and why was he so worried~~ and _no, he shouldn’t be getting this worked up over a servant ~~but Merlin was more than just a servant~~ and he was just being stupid – _

“Arthur?”

 

A door in the far wall of the room creaked open and Arthur turned in surprise, staring slack-jawed at Merlin, whose eyes were red and whose face was empty and _oh gosh he shouldn’t have called Merlin an idiot this morning–_

“Are you hurt?” Merlin stepped out from behind the wooden door and began looking at Arthur’s arms cautiously for any signs of injury.

 

Arthur shook his head. “No, I just...” he trailed off.

 

“Sorry I walked off like that,” Merlin said, refusing to look up from Arthur’s shoulder. “I’ll just, uh...” he turned abruptly and started walking away again. Arthur nearly reached out and grabbed him before realizing what the younger boy was doing. Merlin unwrapped a sword from a piece of canvas lying on the table, before turning around and holding it out to Arthur. “I dulled your spare,” he said, “so you wouldn’t have to exchange swords between every practice and every battle.”

 

Arthur was surprised. He took the sword from Merlin, and then the cloth, and then wrapped it up and placed the bulky package back on the table. Merlin was still looking at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

 

_He looks so tired,_ Arthur thought. His clothes were wrinkled – well, more wrinkled than usual – and his eyes were red and his skin was pale and his lips were a bright cherry-red, as though he had been biting them.

 

“Well, I’ll just go-” Merlin turned back to his room, and this time, Arthur _did_ grab his arm.

 

“Are you alright?” he asked, putting as much sincerity into his voice as possible. Merlin stared at him in shock and Arthur’s cheeks flushed. “What I mean is... well, you haven’t been...” –Merlin raised his eyebrows skeptically – “...yourself lately,” he finished lamely.

 

His friend smiled – a real smile this time, not like the ones he had been throwing around to get Gaius and Gwen and Morgana off his back –and nodded. “I’m fine,” he said, “just been a bit down lately.”

 

The line between Arthur’s eyebrows deepened. “Do you miss your mother?” he asked. “I can give you more time off; how about four weeks to go and visit her? You can take some of the knights –”

 

“It’s not that,” Merlin said, cutting him off. Arthur’s face fell.

 

“Oh,” he said, looking visibly upset. “Is it me?” He felt guiltier than he thought he could – more nervous and more worried and more everything and _god, it was all his fault, wasn’t it?_ Throwing objects and insults at his ~~best~~ only friend and never saying thank-you and shoving him off and _he didn’t mean for this to happen, whatever this may be –_

“No!” Merlin exclaimed. “I’m just tired and – _no, really –_ it’s nothing, I swear.”

 

“Do you not trust me?” Arthur knew he sounded like a small child, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t _want_ to be losing sleep over Merlin’s secrets (there were far too many of them for that) but he didn’t want _Merlin_ to be losing sleep over them either. “You _can_ trust me, you know.”

 

Merlin shook his head, muttering under his breath.

 

“Merlin, please. I’m worried about you.”

 

Merlin’s eyes were getting redder and his voice cracked the next time he spoke. “There are so many things,” he said, sounding choked, “and I can’t _tell_ you about them – Gods, I can’t tell _anyone_ about them and” – his eyes landed on Arthur’s lips before he jerked his head away – “I can’t think right now.” He tried to walk away but Arthur’s hand was still wrapped around his arm.

 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, exasperated. “I’m your _friend._ You can tell me!” Tears had finally escaped Merlin’s eyes, and he wiped them away angrily.

 

“You’ll never look at me again if I do,” he said, clenching his jaw.

 

“And I’ll won’t talk to you again if you don’t.” Arthur cupped his cheek, more tenderly than he could have ever thought possible, and tilted his head so that Merlin was looking into his eyes.

 

~

 

Merlin was tired. _He was so tired, and Arthur’s lips and eyes and hands looked so inviting and_ no, _he couldn’t think like this – he promised himself that he wouldn’t, but he had been so sad for so long and just a second of happiness would be worth everything and he couldn’t help himself and he was sorrysorrysorry –_ but now he was leaning forward and Arthur’s breath ghosted across his skin and he couldn’t stop himself from closing the distance between them and now they were kissing – _oh god, now they were kissing and he was crying but Arthur wasn’t pulling away and he would risk everything_ _to feel like this for just one more second –_

~

...and Arthur’s hand tentatively let go of Merlin’s wrist and his arms wrapped around Merlin’s back and _by god,_ how could _anything_ be better than this?

 

_~fin~_

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This was my first story, so please let me know how I did! (And leave a request if you have one). Thanks! :)


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